Years ago, I thought I’d become the person most expected me to be - Unfortunately, I didn’t.
The expectation I had for myself was high; thinking it was easy to obtain, believing it wasn’t difficult but reality slapped me in the face, because I wasn’t even close to reaching it. I wasn’t even smart to start with.
From the very moment I learned to perceive, I became conscious of others. I had initially believed I could be better than what I was, but the opposite took place. I was the opposite of the person I wanted to be. As I grew up, I began to perceive what those cold stares meant. I was more than a failure - I’ve failed myself.
Fast forward, at the age of 13 I had been bullied, depressed and gotten sick and by the end of August year 2010, my days as a regular student ended. It may had been short, but it was the good old days of my youth.
My high school teachers were the witness of the old me, going to school to get modules for my lessons with plasters on my hands. Whenever, I was about to be discharged from the hospital. I would even be the one to pay my medical bills. I didn’t want anyone to pity me. Even in just appearance alone, I could hide my illnesses. The nurses at LODIFI, a private hospital in my hometown Sagay City would joke with me saying “You’re here again?” I’d respond “Yeah, it’s me again.”
When I was informed that I couldn’t go back to regular school due to my case, at first thought I laughed then seconds later I cried because I knew from that moment on, my life will change forever and Yes, it did.
I hid my weakness so I could assure my parents that I was strong. Every time I had a seizure attack, I could see my father who was about to cry in front of me, my sister holding my hand because I fell asleep after being injected with diazepam. I knew it was agonizing for them but it was more painful for me. No matter how hard I cry, I couldn’t bring back time. All I could do was to accept what God had given me.
I stumbled and fell in a deep dark hole. I was wounded and it was only me who could heal it. I worked so hard to fix what was broken in me.
Despite everything that happened, never had I viewed my illnesses as a suffering nor will deter me from achieving my goals. March 2013. I had already graduated high school. I approached nearly every university in Visayas to inquire if they offer homeschool. As to my expectation, I was rejected by all institutions I had reached out to.
I believed God has truly guided me to La Consolacion College – Bacolod. My sister’s alma mater. It was the last day of free entrance exam. Ms. Rhea Santero was the one whom we first talked to regarding my case. She didn’t refuse our request and suggested that I should take the entrance exam. Everything went well, I then met with Dr. Nenette Padilla a week later. I was told by Ms. Rhea that I should wait for the Vice President for Academic Affairs Dr. Ma. Mercedes Joson.
I waited for nearly a month, and I finally got the chance to meet Dr. Joson and I discussed my current situation. After talking for several minutes, she uttered some words, words that I will never forget for it changed my life “Mercy, you have a lot of potentials that must not be wasted. La Consolacion will gladly accept you” A miracle indeed took place on that day.
9 years have passed since then. I have grown from a frail, lost 13-year old to the person that I have become. I thank God for everything that I have. I am blessed and loved. I was once lost now I am found.
I have graduated College this year which is one of my accomplishments. Currently, I’ve been working on establishing an E-commerce company. Becoming a Chief Executive Officer is a position I’ve always dreamed of and now, I am steps closer to achieving it.
If I haven’t experienced pain and only felt joy maybe, I still would’ve been too frail to be broken by words and I wouldn’t have appreciated all that I have in my hands.
My past made me who I am today. Everything happens for a reason. I have seen the beauty of being alive.
I thank God for giving me His most precious gift, that is my life. As a new chapter of my life unfolds, another journey is about to begin.